Writing is therapy and nothing has helped me as much as writing this book. The words once committed to paper helped me make sense of the emotions I had been carrying around with me. I’ve researched and studied therapies of the mind – psychotherapy, CBT etc and have written books and courses on them for clients, so I know the importance of clearing the mind and identifying issues. However, I never actually planned to write this book. Emotional Abuse – Get Out of My Head and Out of My Bed.
It was more a case that I had to write it.
One day, the words just poured from my mind. It was as if the words had been backlogged unable to break through my own personal barriers. I had buried the pain of disastrous emotional relationships and had tried to make sense of them without dealing with them. This had continued for years. To make sense of someone’s cruelty, you have to first accept that it has happened. I had spent some years travelling throughout France and one day, in my home overlooking the Pyrenees mountains, I am not sure exactly what happened, but, the words started to build up with me. It was like the breaking of the dam. Thoughts surged forwards like water on a mission and in days, the first draft miraculously appeared.
I didn’t want to write a book naming names, that didn’t appeal to me but equally, I had to share my story. I’m glad I did. It became my best-selling book and I am not surprised because over the years, I have met many women and some men who have experienced emotional abuse. I’ve witnessed the results and the breakdown of those lives and apparently, my book has helped them to understand their own pain and to make sense of their emotions. That’s really powerful and gratifying to me because what started out as therapy for me, has helped so many other people who were lost in their own emotional pain.
Emotional abuse is so common. Scarily so. I’ve never understood the need to dominate or control from within a relationship and I never want another damaging relationship as long as I live. It took me too long to recover but I am proof that you can. This book (to me) is a symbol of hope.